I saw some movies this year and then made a list.
In 2019 (the year that it currently is, unless you’re reading this in a different year), I saw some movies. Some great, others not so great. This is my list.
There are quite a few that I still haven’t seen such as Ford v Ferrari, Dark Waters, Queen & Slim, Motherless Brooklyn, Synonyms, A Hidden Life, Honey Boy, and many others. But I tried my best.
Here’s my ranking of the 81 I did see…
81. Where’d You Go, Bernadette?
One of the funniest movies of the year. Unfortunately, it wasn’t on purpose. None of the scenes worked together and the dialogue was cringeworthy at best. Richard Linklater, the director, has made one of my favorite movies in Before Sunrise and a few other classics, so hopefully, this was just a blip in the radar. Shoutout to Aly who has now joined me to see the worst movie of both 2018 and 2019 in theaters.
80. Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase
79. The Dead Don’t Die
Adam Driver, Bill Murray, Rosie Perez, Tilda Swinton, Steve Buscemi, Selena Gomez, and Caleb Landry Jones made what can only be described as a middle-finger to anyone who saw this movie.
78. Wine Country
77. Power
76. Murder Mystery
75. The Beach Bum
74. The Amazing Johnathan
I accidentally met someone who worked on this. He was very drunk and shocked that someone else had seen the movie.
73. The Goldfinch
The book is 300 pages too long and the movie is 149 minutes too long.
72. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
With about 10 minutes left in the film, someone a few rows ahead of us shouted, “What is going on right now?” and the entire theater burst into laughter. Glad I had that moment in an otherwise poor excuse for an action movie. Sidenote: The Last Jedi is great and Solo is so much fun.
71. Climax
First time I’ve ever gotten nauseous watching a movie, so congrats to Gaspar Noé on that, I guess.
70. El Camino
We’re just going to pretend this didn’t happen.
69. Atlantics
68. Late Night
67. Hobbs & Shaw
The only movie I’ve ever fallen asleep in theaters at is Fast Five, so maybe I should stop trying to enjoy these movies. They’re just never going to work for me.
66. Triple Frontier
65. Ad Astra
The adoration for this movie is confusing to me. Brad Pitt’s good, but he always is. Any movie that leans this heavily on narration that isn’t made by Martin Scorsese has a 92% chance of being bad.
64. The Highwaymen
63. Stuber
62. The Lion King
The best shot for shot remake of another movie.
61. The Laundromat
60. Between Two Ferns: The Movie
59. Joker
58. Rocketman
Better than Bohemian Rhapsody, but that’s a low bar.
57. On the Basis of Sex
56. Good Boys
55. Dolemite Is My Name
54. Guava Island
53. The Perfection
One of the more screwed-up movies I’ve ever seen. Very entertaining. Not sure if it’s any good though.
52. Captain Marvel
51. Braid
So odd.
50. Shazam!
49. Pokémon Detective Pikachu
48. Fyre Fraud/Fyre
47. The Souvenir
46. The Report
The person behind us sounded like he was wrapping and opening presents for the entire runtime of the movie. I don’t know. It was all very odd.
45. Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile
44. Rolling Thunder Revue
43. The Death of Dick Long
You have to see this one. Just so I can have someone to discuss it with. The Death of Dick Long takes a SHARP left turn. You can debate how good this movie is, but you cannot debate how memorable it is. It’ll stick with you forever.
42. Little Monsters
Lupita Nyong’o should be in every movie.
41. It Chapter Two
40. Always Be My Maybe
39. Toy Story 4
38. Anna
37. Spider-Man: Far From Home
36. High Life
Robert Pattinson should be in every movie.
35. I Lost My Body
An animated movie about a severed hand trying to find the arm it was attached to is very sweet. Never expected to say that.
34. The Farewell
33. High Flying Bird
32. Villains
Jeffrey Donovan should be in the Best Supporting Actor awards race.
31. Crawl
This was a blast in theaters. It was under 90 minutes, nonstop suspense/action, and somehow featured good actors.
30. The Nightingale
29. Waves
I had my problems with this film, but it’s immaculately made and has a few of the better scenes of the year. It also has a perfect playlist that features Kanye West, Frank Ocean, Chance the Rapper, SZA, Kendrick Lamar, H.E.R., Brockhampton, and the Alabama Shakes.
28. The King
Addendum: Robert Pattinson with a french accent should be in every movie
27. Avengers: Endgame
Doesn’t understand time travel but does understand how to use Paul Rudd.
26. The Last Black Man in San Francisco
25. Pain & Glory
Antonio Banderas.
24. The Art of Self-Defense
23. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Much weirder and more creative than it had any right to be. Marielle Heller is one of the best directors we have right now. Instead of doing the shlocky biopic thing, Heller told an interesting story that happened to feature Tom Hanks as a picture-perfect Mr. Rogers.
22. Hustlers
21. Long Shot
20. John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum
19. Booksmart
Probably the hardest I’ve laughed in a theater this year.
18. The Two Popes
Maybe my biggest surprise of the year. Very easily could’ve gone the Green Book route, but instead used the chaos behind the Catholic Church as an interesting existential question about humanity and how we need to keep with the times.
17. Just Mercy
I know that we have a lot of lawyer vs. corruption movies but they always work. Michael B. Jordan, Brie Larson, and Jamie Foxx are can’t lose casting.
16. Ready or Not
You have to watch this movie at a late showing while eating the new Popeye’s spicy chicken sandwich. Perfect theater experience.
15. 1917
Although its plot is nothing special in the war movie genre, it may be the best-looking film I’ve ever seen. It’s special. A must-see on the biggest screen possible.
14. Wild Rose
13. Us
I’m glad Jordan Peele’s making movies. This one was a bit of a mess but was consistently entertaining and featured one of the best actress performances of the year. I’ll take a not perfect Peele movie over most things coming out right now.
12. Under the Silver Lake
So overlooked. Under the Silver Lake is the LA stoner-noir comedy/mystery movie we didn’t know we needed. Some of the questions never get answered, but that’s okay. Has maybe the scariest moment in a movie this year. I wish this got a bigger release but I’ll just recommend it until the end of time.
11. Jojo Rabbit
Let Taika Waititi do whatever he wants.
10. The Irishman
I’ve seen this movie twice now and although it’s not the best thing Scorsese has ever done, it’s pretty damn close. Joe Pesci probably deserves an Oscar for this and the entire cast—from Robert De Niro to Ray Romano—is at its best. The Jesse Plemons fish scene is one of those perfect movie sequences in which you’re both tense and hope it never ends.
9. Once Upon a Time … In Hollywood
I needed to rewatch this to truly understand just how incredible it was. As great as Leonardo DiCaprio is, this will always be Bradd Pitt’s movie to me. He hasn’t been this good in a long time. It’s as funny as all of Quentin Tarantino’s movies usually are, but it also has this sweetness that I don’t think he’s really had before. The entire film kind of reminds me of the dance sequence in Pulp Fiction.
8. Uncut Gems
A movie featuring Adam Sandler about Judaism, the NBA, New York City and gambling. It’s a Shakespearean tragedy with jokes about James Dolan. I was not credited anywhere in this movie, which seems impossible.
7. The Lighthouse
I was grinning the entire time I watched whatever the hell this is. I can’t believe it exists. There’s no real plot other than watching Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe slowly go insane. It’s perfect.
6. Marriage Story
There’s a lot of talk about Adam Driver being the best actor we have right now. And it’s all correct. What isn’t being mentioned though is that Scarlett Johansson matches him in every scene. The plot is nothing special, but it isn’t supposed to be. Every scene is immensely rewatchable and both are at the top of my list for performances of the year.
5. Knives Out
I’m so glad that Daniel Craig’s jail sentence as James Bond is coming to an end because that means he can be in interesting and entertaining movies again like this one. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie that I can so easily recommend. It makes swings until the final perfect sequence and is hysterical from start to finish. Every actor seems so excited that they were able to be in this and each one of them—from Ana de Arms to Chris Evans to Toni Collette—gets to be great. If you haven’t seen this yet, you should go right now. It also has some of the best sweaters.
4. Portrait of a Lady on Fire
A French masterpiece. It has three of the better scenes of the decade including a final minute or so that ties everything up perfectly. The bare-bones plot is of a painter trying to paint a woman who doesn’t want to be painted. I won’t give up any more than that. Every still from this movie should be hanging in the Louvre.
3. Little Women
Greta Gerwig has done it again. She’s a genius. With the ongoing debate about how long movies should be poking its head up week after week, I just want to go on record that this movie could be five hours and I would be fine with that. I could just list every actor here when I try to pinpoint my favorite performances, but I want to single out Saoirse Ronan and Florence Pugh as Jo and Amy March respectively. Ronan’s like a year older than me and already has three Oscar nominations and deserves a fourth one for this. For Pugh, 2019 is her year and her year alone.
We’ll get back to Pugh shortly…
2. Parasite
I’m certainly not the first person to say that this movie is incredible, but it’s incredible. Both comedy, satire and horror, I can’t say enough about every single second of this movie. I’m sure this will improve on rewatch, but I don’t know how. It’s one of those movies that you’ll remember forever. I’m looking forward to watching it a dozen more times over the next few years.
- Midsommar
If you talked to me at all this year, you knew this was coming. I don’t think a movie has ever hit me immediately as this one did. It’s a fairytale/romantic comedy/horror/thriller that you can’t look away from. It’s easily one of my favorite movies of the decade and gets better every time I see it. It’s not for the faint of heart or people looking for a good time. Midsommar is a purposeful mess and takes more risks than anything else I’ve seen in a long time. As I promised earlier, we have to talk about Florence Pugh who is having an MVP year. In Midsommar and Little Women, Pugh is unfathomably great in such different ways. She plays the attacker and attacked with equal skill. I’ll see everything she’s in for the rest of time. I’m a big fan, is what I’m saying. Also, I hope Midsommar’s director Ari Aster is doing okay. It’s a lot.
